10 Signs That You Are A Nerd

A list to help you find out if you are a nerd – just in case you weren’t already aware.
(Trust me, everybody else already thinks you are anyway.)

  1. When you discover that someone you are interested in displays poor grammar and spelling skills, you begin to find them less sexually attractive.
  2. Under your list of ‘Hobbies / Interests’ you would considered including ‘The Internet’.
  3. In exam conditions, you take a few back-up pens in case your good pen runs out. And also a couple of back-up pens for your back-up pens.
  4. Another sign you are a nerd:

    nerd

    You are desperately trying to ignore that non-capitalised ‘y’, aren’t you?

  5. You have been on a social outing with some people and had that feeling of concern that someone will take a photo and that somebody will tag you in it and that somebody else might see it and tell someone at work and then that someone at work will know that you were with someone else and why you really missed that one day of work.
  6. You are about to re-read the previous sentence to make sure you completely understood it.
  7. You commonly use the term ‘awkward’ when describing yourself to others.
  8. You have no shame in enjoying puns.
  9. You are well acquainted with Thesaurus.com
  10. The ultimate sign you are a nerd:
    You read this whole thing.
    …Loser.

10 Signs You Are Addicted To Your iPhone

1. You forget that other people use devices like ‘watches’ and ‘clocks’ to tell the time.

2. Whenever you accidentally leave it in the car, you rush back to get it as if you had locked your own child in an unattended vehicle.

3. You keep thinking you can hear your phone message tone going off during the day when it hasn’t.

4. A single tear can be seen rolling down your cheek as you discover the first crack on your iPhone screen.

5. You look up the train timetable on Safari even though it is clearly posted in front of you at the train station.

6. You keep checking to see if you have any texts or emails, even though you have not received any notifications.

7. Putting your phone on silent mode has made your vibrator obsolete.

8. You try to ‘pinch’ zoom other technology devices that do not use a touch-screen.

9. You are nonchalantly reading this using your iPhone.

10. You are now about to Google ‘nonchalantly’ on your iPhone.

10 Reasons Why She Didn’t Text You Back

    1. Upon opening your text message she remembered a comment you had made in a fight six months earlier. Angry and bitter, she decided it wasn’t yet time to move on.
    2. You texted her during her beauty regime; an unspecified time of day when she is completely unreachable by any forms of communication (satellites, email, yelling outside the bathroom door).
    3. Your text failed to reach the average word length of a sentence and she refused to acknowledge it as conversation.
    4. Since you two are in love, she assumed you should already know the answer.
    5. She read “Your hot” and waited for you to finish your sentence. You never did.
    6. She strategically planned out how she would respond. Following a lengthy and elaborate thought-process, she knew exactly what she was going to say. When she finally had the perfect message she smiled at it with great satisfaction and put her phone away, forgetting to send it.
    7.There was a 20-30 minute delay between her last text and yours, and therefore it was only right for her to assume that you had stopped loving her. In an attempt to seem indifferent and unmoved by your blatant neglect she made an effort to appear busy.
    8. You didn’t sign off your previous text with ‘x x x’. Irrespective of the roses you had sent her that very morning, she made no allowance for your sloppy, unpardonable behaviour.
    9. When she texted “Did I look fat this morning?” Your response “You looked fine” was not the “Of course not. You are not fat, you never have been and you never will be” that she was looking for.
    10. You referred to her as ‘Dude’.