How to Move House Efficiently and Effortlessly

Moving house can be an overwhelming task; it is time consuming and quickly becomes evident that you have way too much crap and not enough brain capacity or physical space to deal with it all. With this in mind, we have created a guide on how to move house without the added burden of actually getting your shit organised. Just by following these simple steps you can cut down on the clutter and move into your new place with ease.

Moving House 101:

  • This is not the time to get sentimental, old school books and childhood toys belong in the bin along with any other remnants of broken dreams.
  • Realise that you only wear maybe four entirely different outfits and that the rest come under the ‘only suitable as sleepwear’ category. If you wouldn’t be caught dead outside wearing it then let someone at the charity store decide if they will be.
  • Forget about how much money new furniture will cost and assume you will somehow acquire vast new amounts of money in your new house. Become the local hero and have the charity shop come and pick up all your furniture for donation. You will probably be back within days to buy it back at an inflated cost, but if the delivery fee is less than the moving van would have cost then you, my friend, are a genius.

Moving2

  • Question whether you really need to bring those board games to the new house. You know, the ones you intend to play with your supposed friends during a weekly games night that has so far been a mere fantasy in your life?
  • Give away every glass item you have to avoid having to wrap anything with care.
  • Books you have no intention of ever finishing or reading again can graciously find there way next the fifteen copies of ’50 Shades of Grey’ in the charity shop.

  • Say adios to that novelty sombrero you have hanging up. There are enough photos on Facebook for everyone to remember how carefree and fun you are. We get it, you were the life of the party that one night.
  • Your plastic Christmas tree has seen better days. Let it die in dignity on your front lawn, awaiting a better life as landfill via the council garbage truck. It’s what baby Jesus would have wanted.
  • If you are unsure of an item, put it in a garbage bag, then let it get lost in the mess and eventually throw it out by mistake.
  • Get brutal with every cup, fork, spoon, pen, piece of paper, DVD, pair of sunglasses, light bulb, spare battery and every single other bit of anything that you ever had the idiocy to drag into the house. Tell yourself that everything minuscule, insignificant thing that is anywhere inside this house needs to be found, touched, sorted and moved somewhere else. Knowing this usually builds enough stress to make you chuck out anything regardless of value. Cull it like its hot.

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