Good Grammar or Die

Now I’m not a snob nor am I perfect, most of the time, but when it comes to spelling and grammar, if you wish to communicate with me I expect you to be on your A-game.

Sure, there are some errors I may be able to bring myself to overlook, especially if you are good-looking, but there are other cases where I will simply will not show any mercy.

grammar

I have listed here a general guide for anyone wishing to interact with me which can also be applied to anyone whose Facebook status updates, due to friendship, I am forced to endure.

Rule 1:
“His so cute.”
= No.

Rule 2:
“I went their to use there pool.”
= No. No, you did not.

Rule 3:
“I should of said.”
= No, you should not have.

Rule 4:
“Definately.”
= No.

Rule 5:
“Your so right.”
= So wrong.

Rule 6:
“Its hot in here.”
= ’tisn’t

Rule 7:
grammar2

Rule 8:
“It was to short.”
= ‘fraid not.

Rule 9:
“Me and my friends went.”
= Nope.

Rule 10:

“I’m taller then you.”
= What?

Rule 11:
“I seen him.”
= Nope.

Rule 12:
“I already done that.”
= Not even close.

Rule 13: 
“I want to loose weight.”
= How?

Rule 14:
“Whose going to the party?”
= Is he?

Rule 11:
“I didnt no were yous where.”
= Kill me now.


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10 Signs That You Are A Nerd

A list to help you find out if you are a nerd – just in case you weren’t already aware.
(Trust me, everybody else already thinks you are anyway.)

  1. When you discover that someone you are interested in displays poor grammar and spelling skills, you begin to find them less sexually attractive.
  2. Under your list of ‘Hobbies / Interests’ you would considered including ‘The Internet’.
  3. In exam conditions, you take a few back-up pens in case your good pen runs out. And also a couple of back-up pens for your back-up pens.
  4. Another sign you are a nerd:

    nerd

    You are desperately trying to ignore that non-capitalised ‘y’, aren’t you?

  5. You have been on a social outing with some people and had that feeling of concern that someone will take a photo and that somebody will tag you in it and that somebody else might see it and tell someone at work and then that someone at work will know that you were with someone else and why you really missed that one day of work.
  6. You are about to re-read the previous sentence to make sure you completely understood it.
  7. You commonly use the term ‘awkward’ when describing yourself to others.
  8. You have no shame in enjoying puns.
  9. You are well acquainted with Thesaurus.com
  10. The ultimate sign you are a nerd:
    You read this whole thing.
    …Loser.