The Plus Side Of Getting Older

This post has been featured on SameSame; Australia’s #1 Gay and Lesbian website.

The Plus Side Of Getting Older

  • No one expects you to stay out late.

As you have gotten older and realised that a good mattress is the key to not waking up with a bad back, you start to appreciate any good night of rest you can get.

  • You discover the amazing mealtime known as brunch.

You start to replace fast food with actual food and begin a wild love affair with every cafe that offers an all-day breakfast menu.

  • Comfort takes over style.

Casual Friday starts creeping a little more into other days of your week and you begin to embrace the fact that because you are closer to 40 than to 20, most people aren’t expecting you to be sexy anyway.

  • You realise high school did not matter.

You have let go of your vision of turning up to your high school reunion having become wildly rich and powerful.
You are now no longer afraid to run into people you went to school with because, thanks to the magic of Facebook, you already know that they have been as equally unsuccessful in life as you.

  • You don’t feel guilty when indulging.

Watching your weight has literally taken a backseat as you begin to let yourself go a little.
One cannot simply have a coffee without first ordering a slice of cake.

  • Work isn’t so bad.

Having spent your life working around dickheads and sucking up to executives jerks, you start to enjoy any time not spent with these people instead of stressing out about the next interaction.

  • You are willing to pay more to not be uncomfortable.

Gone are the days when you would cheap out and stay in a crappy hostel dorm with several of the smelliest travelers, from now on whenever you travel, you will be doing it fabulously.

  • You discover that paradise is a Good Ol’ Sit Down

At one time in your life, sitting around on your ass would have been the most boring activity imaginable. Nowadays you can’t wait to leave work or any social event to get home, sit back, kick up your feet and relax.
And better yet, no one can tell you not to.

  • The only thing closer to death than you, is any sense of shame you once possessed.

What’s that? You want to pay for your groceries entirely using coins from your savings jar? Go for it!
And now you’ve decided you’ve waited too long in this queue and want to be next? Move on up.
You’re old dammit. You’ve earned this.
Besides, you’ve already lived longer than any of these idiots around you, they should be grateful for everything your generation gave them.
Read my wrinkles: DILLIGAF?


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