New Year: Resolutions VS Results

Resolution:
Lose weight

Actual result:
Binge eat leftover Christmas ham and turkey until March.
Favour gifted boxes of chocolate for breakfast in place of cereal.

Resolution:
Be kinder

Actual result:
Get caught in traffic after New Years fireworks and throw resolution and abuse out the window.

Resolution:
Sleep more

Actual result:
Stay up till midnight to watch fireworks. Ruin body clock. Never sleep before midnight again.

Resolution:
Drink less

Actual result:
Collect all bottles of wine in house in an effort to allocate and re-gift. Wake up with hangover.

Resolution:
Meet new people

Actual result:
Send a private Facebook message that gets seen and not responded to. Give up on any further human contact.

Resolution:
Learn how to cook

Actual result:
Venture to shops with gourmet recipe in mind. Buy all condiments. Make recipe once. Never use ingredients again.

Resolution:
Travel

Actual result:
Look up airfares during holiday period.
Buy lottery ticket instead.

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