The Benefits Of Being Gay

Double Your Wardrobe

Should you choose to date someone of a similar size and gender, you reap the rewards of being able to wear any of their more expensive, and therefore better clothes any time you so desire.
NB: This is only advantageous to you if they have a sense of style.
Otherwise, chuck ‘em.

Male Friends

As a lesbian, it is in your rights to have as many attractive male friends around you as you wish. As this will not be a threat to your (or their) relationship, feel free to ruffle their hair and gently place your hand on their backside whenever the mood strikes you.  It may confuse them, but you can be happy in the knowledge that you are not, and will never be, confused.

Welfare Benefits

As no one assumes your gayness, you can use the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy to your advantage. This will be most profitable when claiming to be roommates as opposed to a “joint partnership.”

Since the government won’t let you marry, here’s a chance to even the score and collect compensatory money.

Dodging The Question

Living in a backwards country is hard. Fortunately, however, this means that no one will ever ask you that dreaded question:  “So when are you going to get married?”

Not Getting Pregnant

There is little to no chance of pregnancy when you engage in sexual activities with a person of the same sex. At the time of this going to print, no pregnancies have been recorded as a result of homosexual encounters. However, precautions should always be taken to ensure this does not occur…

ie: abstinence.

Advertisement