What I’ve Learnt From Being In A Relationship

What You Wear Is No Longer A Personal Choice

When you are single:
Picking an outfit for the day is a practical task which falls under a simple formula: What is clean?

As a couple:
Your choice in clothing each day comes under the ever-increasing catergory of ‘mutual decisions’. Cleanliness is but one element taken into account, but additional thought processes include: Is it a breach of my own moral dignity to be standing next to this person?

Down Time No Longer Exists

When you are single:
After finishing a long, hard day at work there is nothing better than relaxing and sitting back knowing there is nowhere you need to be and nothing you need to do. Ah, bliss.

As a couple:
After finishing a long, hard day of work you will arrive home to find that in your absence plans have been made for an impromptu dinner party. Peaceful silence has been replaced with a squeal of “Guess who’s coming to dinner?” the moment you walk in the door. Red-faced and flustered, you can only hope that your response of “Yes honey, I will get the bathroom spotless in 5 minutes”, will be enough for her.

Items Of Any Value Will Inevitably Go Missing

When you are single:
When placing any piece of personal property down on a surface, you can expect to find it in this exact location when you next return.

As a couple:
When placing any piece of personal property down on a surface, you do so with knowledge of the risk that it may be used and, if lucky, returned to a surface in a similar location at a point in the furture. Futhermore, if your partner has vocalised any distain toward this piece of personal property – do not expect to see it ever again.

Expenses Are Doubled

When you are single:
Hard-earned money is spent on personal things that are generally necessary to your own survival and wellbeing.

As a couple:
It is understood that you will always foot half of the bill for everything. That $50 conditioner you recently bought together? Your view that you will never use it, and therefore shouldn’t pay, has been taken into consideration and thoroughly ignored.

Normal Conversations Are A Distant Memory

When you are single:
A conversation between yourself and another person is often a delightful exchange of ideas on a single topic. Both participants share their thoughts and feelings in a to and fro manner, which fosters an overall enjoyable experience.

As a couple:
A conversation between yourself and your partner often consists of each person talking about a seperate topic with little to no regard about whether the other is listening. Eventually, when one does stop to listen to the other, the resulting exchange of words is “What was it that you had to talk to me about again?”

Meals Are Not Made According To Your Preferences

When you are single:
When hungry, you casually browse the foodstuffs you have in your household and consume as much or little as desired until satisfied.

As a couple:
When your partner is hungry, they will suggest a specific meal that they are craving. You will then help to purchase and / or prepare a dish which is portioned out to you within the restrictions of latest low-carb / high-protein / low-fat diet until they are satisfied.

Being Correct Is Not The Same As Being Right

When you are single:
You are always right.

As a couple:
She is always right.

Advertisements

One thought on “What I’ve Learnt From Being In A Relationship

  1. Pingback: Excerpted from . . . | &iempre

Write something nice or go away:

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s